If You’re Going to Start a Fight …

There are two things you need to know.

If you’re going to start a fight, there are two things you need to figure out.

Before getting into what those two things are, it’s important to make note of one thing that it isn’t important to consider, at least you don’t need to invest any energy trying to figure it out if you’ve settled on the other two. In the movies, when people want to be dramatic, they’ll say to the protagonist something like, “Well how far are you willing to take it?” You don’t need to form an understanding of how far it is worth it to you to take a fight. The answer is binary. Starting a fight is like a game of chicken. The person who isn’t willing and able to take it as far as it goes, loses. Everytime. Always. Also, just like in chicken, both parties can, and frequently do, lose.

So, you don’t have to figure that one out.
If you’re starting a fight, you’re going all the way.

If you’re going to start a fight, the first thing you need to know is whether or not there is a practical way to reach a desirable, moral, and stable end other than to use force against another person.

Importantly, when I say ‘fight’ I do mean all use of force. Any time you take your conflict out of the discursive arena — where you’re attempting to get the other person to come to your way of thinking because they voluntarily decide that you are correct, you are starting a fight. For the sake of this discussion that's what ‘fight’ means. Because, if you are manipulating someone through withholding or hiding information, if you are barring someone from access to resources and commercial interaction with others, if you are cutting off someone’s communication with others, if your are threatening violence or other destructive behavior, all of these things and more are the use of force. Anytime you are using your access to force in order to give your will an edge over theirs in directing someone else's actions, you are using force. When you have begun an effort to use force but haven't completed that effort, you have started a fight.

So, the first thing that you need to know is that the fight you are intending to start is morally worth it. Is there a likely way to bring about the situation that you believe is morally needed that doesn't involve negating the wills of other people? Sometimes there isn't, but usually there is. If there is and you neglect it, then you are the villain. There are no exceptions. You may be the villain by mistake. I have been, more than once, and to great consequence. The villain always has their reasons. Importantly, there can be more than one villain. Antagonistic types frequently squabble between each other. That's a trope as old as violence itself.

Settle within yourself this one question first, “Is there another way?”

If you’re going to start a fight, the second thing you need to know is whether or not you’re going to win.

It is counterintuitive to a lot of folks. There's a term for picking a fight on principle, vainglory. Actually, there are a lot of other terms but most of them are less polite. Vainglorious efforts are those actions which are taken to bolster the ego, to affirm identity. When you can look at a situation and know that you're going to lose the war (even if you're likely to win this battle) and you pick the fight anyway, you're still in the wrong.

Picking a fight vaingloriously deprives your friends and family of … well, you. “Picking a fight doesn't mean that I'm going to die,” one might say. Please refer to the zeroth thing you need to know about picking a fight. You don't get to decide where the fight ends, any fight. So, by picking any fight you have consented to die there. I don't care if you are choosing to punch a Nazi or boycott a bookstore, you have to accept that once you are exerting force against someone else you have opened Pandora's box intentionally. It isn't like the random chance of everyday life because we have milenia of human history showing us how quickly things can escalate. If you use force against someone else, you asked for whatever comes next.

In most cases you won't die in the fight you picked, though. That changes nothing. If you've chosen to pick a fight that won't be won you have still deprived yourself and everyone you are connected to of every resource used in that effort (time, strength, emotional reserves, material resources, etc.) Remember, this article is in regard to the initiation of will versus will conflicts. We aren't talking about simple arguments, aid efforts, or kindness. We aren't talking about research and education. We aren't talking about respectfully making your case against another opinion. You can do all of those things and, if done in earnest, they will all reap bountiful rewards — most of which you'll never know about. But, there is no time wasted in sharing kindness, knowledge, and perspective. I understand that we often hear about those things as all “a part of the fight” — which I understand. This article is only about literal force against someone else's will — fighting proper. In fighting proper, if you don't win, you lose.

We aren't talking about fights you didn't start either. Sometimes a person goes down swinging just so that their attacker doesn't wholly get away with it, so that their assaulter can never look in a mirror again without remembering what they did. That is a different matter. You didn't squander anything knowingly if you didn't have a choice in the matter.

If you aren't going to win, there is always something more worthwhile to do than to start a fight. If you don't have the creativity and self-awareness to find another way to serve your principles other than hurting someone else who you know will overtake you in the end, well, just think about what that really means about your ego and your priorities. It doesn't matter how awful that person is, how noble your cause. If you know you're going to lose, then you're throwing away your chance of doing something worthwhile somewhere and sometime when you could win. If you feel like you just can't stand by, that is vanity leading to vainglorious failure.

Summing it all up:

That's it. That's my breakdown of the moral dynamics of picking fights. It comes too late for some this year, and it falls on the def ears of others, but — if there is truth in what was said — then there is no waste in it. Because, unlike a punch, a deception, a blockade, or a threat, truth does not expire. It lives and proliferates like wildflowers taking root in gravel and filth and making life from the soot of the air.

cheers,
Deacon Rodda

If you made it this far and you aren’t deeply offended by the implication that there are acceptable use cases for violence and other forms of force, maybe there's a chance that you want to help me on my quest to create real solutions that empower communities of people who are ready to fight their own battles?

Well, if so, then won't you consider supporting me to the tune of $2/mo. on Patreon as I refine methods of social change and personal empowerment, which I prototype and publish for feedback and general social uplift.